Your heart and my heart are old friends

This morning while working out, I was introduced to another woman, and she immediately declared, “I know you.” We racked brains together to figure out how but couldn’t come up with how. I laughed and thought, this is hilarious. It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s time to write about an age old favorite, the “old soul.”

How do you know a stranger when you never met them?

The soul is ageless. Unlike our physical body it transcends time. As we go from one incarnation to another, we fall asleep to our previous lifetimes and part of an Infinite Consciousness, and start over in a new body. 

Many of the new children (those born after 1970)—crystal, indigos, rainbow, etc. –remember who they once were, because we have made it acceptable to remember these lifetimes, and welcome these children as bearers of light to remind us; however, most of us who are older have been conditioned to suppress and deny these memories.

Recovering lost memories

One of the first things my teacher did with me when we started working together was: she made me recall my childhood memories. She rolled the film, as if she and I were passive observers watching a movie, and she bore witness to some of my deepest secrets and mystical moments. As if we were time travelers, we went back to a grove of trees when I was five years old in Longwood Gardens, Pa. A family friend was getting married, and I remember getting lost and feeling sad that day. Even though I was a little girl, I experienced her happy day with a flush of other memories from another experience that was so vivid, I felt so much older than my 5 year old body; and, true to date, these past life experiences have kept me from being married. 

Another time I remember daydreaming in my dad’s station wagon, and looking up into the clouds, I could interpret the formations, and downloaded memories so sophisticated, I felt like I knew my purpose and told myself that in this lifetime, it’d be better to be intelligent than beautiful. There was more information than that, but those moments faded as I didn’t know how to record them and when around adults that treat you like a child, you learn act in accordance to the societal role and the memories get pushed back and forgotten.

And that is why it’s so important to interact with others. Whatever your religious beliefs, we never stop running into people that remind us of who we are from some unknown connection that is unexplainable. Sort of like a déjà vu or parental figure or person from a recurring dream. If you believe that the soul migrates upon physical death, then the possibility of past lives makes a lot of sense; for there are moments of recognition that we can neither explain or logically understand with our human minds, but their interaction with us, help us recover lost pieces of our journey that we need to reclaim in order to become Whole. This relates to friends, teachers, coaches, strangers as well as lovers, and thus we can call any one a soul mate. 

How do we recognize our soul mates?

A soul mate is a person that shares a common bond with you for the purpose of growing. It could be sister, a friend, a pet or a lover. Usually the bond is instinctual. You might even experience greater harmony with those outside your ethnic and family group. Sometimes you feel drawn to different time periods and cultures for no reason. Sometimes there is so much commonality that there almost seems no need to talk or overly explain. They somehow know us, as if we are two peas in a pod. There is no explaining why you both are so close, but it appears that in spite of outward differences, there are many deep ways this person mirrors some of our best and worst traits. 

If you have been around for many lifetimes, you begin to see people and immediately place them into archetypes — whether it is a four or five element astrological system, an animal totem, a fairy or crystal or mineral. As Steven Bancarz explains in his The Mind Journal article entitled, “Five things only old souls can fully understand,” “this is because you have seen the archetype of that person before in a past life and are familiar with the general behavior and psychology of that archetype. You have interacted with thousands of people throughout the course of your soul’s history, so there is really no archetype you haven’t interacted with yet.” As we evolve, we simplify these traits to learn about others and the boundaries of our own selfhood with respect to them through exchanging, loving, and sharing hidden aspects of ourselves. 

Some soulmates stay for a long time and become companions; others come and go, leaving us with pain and disappointment but also a gift of deeper compassion, understanding and sensitivity. We learn deeper whom we are compatible with; and we learn that relationships have many purposes.

Not all soul mates exist to fulfill us romantically.

Some soul mates come to help a person manifest a personality trait, a piece of art or a movement. Examples of people that get together for more than a romantic purpose are many. Bo Derek and her husband John Derek’s coupling helped mold her into a sex symbol. Another example is the relationship between Georgia O’Keefe and Alfred Stieglitz, the latter of which provided the financial support and promotion for her to receive acclaim as an artist. Another example is the spiritual partnership between Martin Luther king and Coretta Scott King. They each fortified each other and Coretta finished his legacy.

Certain traits do incline individuals to get along with each other; for that reason, we read the horoscope and marvel at how accurately it explains the quirks about our partner. Other times, our partners behave completely out of sync with the archetype, depending on which side of good and evil, he or she chooses to express. That said, we may not always be able choose the best partners but we can surely educate ourselves in choosing the right people to be more around with. 

If you’re not with the One or lost someone, maybe you have to learn to be the ‘One’

All of us want our relationships to last an eternity; however, if our soul has signed up for great challenges and growth, it is possible that that destiny can only be fulfilled by phases (and different partners at each phase); periods of solitude; or even divorce, loss and betrayal.

When life becomes tough and you come in for a consultation and ask how could I have signed up for this? The only explanation is that your life story is meant to be a drama for others. Sometimes to fulfill the soul’s need for such an experience to grow, mature and heal some of its past life wounds, we go through wrenching events as well as positive ones. As Arnold Swartzenegger once said, when you ask for greatness, it “does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Thus life produces the experiences that shape us into the individuals we aspire to become, and it’s up to us whether we become a victim of those circumstances or we learn to rise above.

Other times: life is going to happen to us regardless of our conscious control. For that, we sometimes have to acquiesce to a Higher Power and trust that, in some way, it is for our highest good.

If you want to actively moderate some of life’s dramas that are within our control, knowing the karmic patterns, in which you engage with certain individuals, can give you some insight into what you are experiencing and, if it’s a lesson you want to get over with, you can start taking action to resolve it. We may not be able to avoid certain types of people, jobs, illnesses, events, accidents or burdens, but we have, through many spiritual and psychological tools, to address unexplained fears, phobias and esteem issues that plague us from unsettled patterns from the past.

Each relationship is like a refining process. Our character becomes better defined and more durable; as we learn what can destroy us and what brings us back to joy and happiness. The more we see our relationships as a means to develop self-love, the more we can let go and enjoy the sometimes roller coaster ride that our soul mates take us, while our destiny with them unfolds and fulfills its purpose.

Fear not that there won’t be anyone out there for you. 

Be it a new friend, a new lover or a new pet. Despite what Hollywood wants you believe, there is no One and Only soulmate; there are multiple soulmates in the journey of life. Maybe that might not give you comfort when you are in a dry spell or experiencing a long bout of loneliness; however, if your heart is open and you have done the work to address what might not gone right in the last relationship, you will find others. 

As you work on becoming the right person, i.e. your authentic self, and putting yourself out there, law of attraction has to deliver true love to you with someone who appreciates your unique characteristics.

Conclusion 

No matter how successful, painful or disappointing, soul mates come to remind us who we are and show us how to love ourselves. If we welcome the experience understanding the purpose together, soul mates can help us experience love without fear before we go back into the light we came from.